Party Matters

We were invited to the school annual dinner the evening before last– the end of term staff and family party for Sekolah Kebangsaan Bandar Uda 2, the ‘high performing’ school I am currently posted to as a Teaching and Learning Advisor. The dinner took place at one of the hotels that line the beach at Desaru, Johor.

It was a rather special event, the culmination of a year's work in the life of the school, a school I have been working at for only a couple of months now. I was made to feel very welcome, myself and my fellow Advisor, as well as my family – wife, children and sister-in-law. Although the whole affair was conducted in Malay – the speeches and presentations etc., we were made to feel very welcome, with a few special mentions in the colloquies. Smiles from each table as we wandered between them, and praises for my family, with words of “how beautiful”  they  were. The two School Advisors present on the evening – our other colleague unable to be with us - had been called to sit at the high table with the Principal of the School, a charming lady, who has photographs and credits describing her as the “Iron Lady of Bandar Uda” on several noticeboards on  the school compound. She can be a formidable lady, oleaginous and understanding at one and the same time, but as I said, she was very hospitable and warm on this evening, and has in fact always been very civil and polite with me.

The other thing that struck me most about the gathering was its purity. Perhaps it is a Malay Muslim phenomenon: soft drinks only – no alcoholic beverages, and everyone dressed very modestly – the ladies and girls of age in the traditional head “tudung" and the men in casual attire; children celebrated.  Smiles throughout, and no coarse or loud laughter, no vulgarity, but a very warm and convivial atmosphere. A real sense of family. Nice also to see a few tables with Tamils and their families, smiling and enjoying the company as well.

It was in contrast to the Jaguar event next door in the more upmarket 4/5 star hotel, where we had popped in briefly earlier in the evening to get a pre-dinner bite to eat. There, a sexily clad  trio of young ladies performed a few songs on a small makeshift stage and led the Singapore-origin party for the evening’s special function, beer free flowing on tap at each table. We left before what we assumed would develop into a more raucous affair as the night drew on.

Then today there was an article in the Daily National Newspaper, The Star, entitled Sex Matters. Incongruous in this country, I felt, which I have come to associate with moderate conservatism and a respect for keeping matters sexual private – at least on one level. The lingering statistic in my mind, if it can be believed, was that 39% of Malaysian (married) women confessed to being unfaithful, behind Ghanaian and Thai women only. The implication is that Malaysian women are the third most unfaithful group in the world. Could I believe it? I thought of the beautiful women – most of them married - that adorned the tables of the other night at Desaru, their open smiles and attractive demeanours. Surely, a representative group of 39 % unfaithful women did not populate this group? Perhaps the teaching profession is unrepresentative of his vague statistic. Perhaps not. I guess I will never know, and it is not my business to dwell on it further.