Solitude Matters

Having looked forward (for months) to this opportunity to be on my own – as the family have taken themselves off to Nepal for four weeks – as I reckoned it would give me ample time to immerse myself in some company-related writing commitments, I find myself restless in an empty, people-and-family-less apartment, experiencing it as somewhat hard to focus without the constant distraction of my children!  In an earlier epoch, I always needed quiet to get things done – reading, writing study etc.; but in these years of family life I have learned to be more flexible and have adapted to working with interruptions. Dare I say it, that I have become good at it, and now find it quite normal to be sneaking time here and there - in between conversations about school rivalries with my five year old daughter, and debates about the latest Apple products with my eleven year old son. Over the years my wife and I have also increasingly come to know and accept what each other likes, and I love my wife the more that she tolerates my introverted quirks of behaviour, and allows me to sit and read or write away from where it is all happening with the family. 

And yet… The house is very quiet these last two days – they left only on the 1^st November – and already I am missing them, especially my daughter, who exhausts me with her constant demands for attention and the need to engage in dialogue or games. It was lovely to Skype chat with my son yesterday. I feel his need to talk with me and felt bad that I cut him short a little as I needed to sleep earlier than him. He sounded grown up, more articulate even.

I do like my solitude, though, and I see that as I age it will be important for me to have these times for re-charging the spiritual and emotional batteries. They serve almost like mini retreat times, interludes for contemplation and prayer, as well as a time to increase my exercising regime, which always makes me feel more alive, disciplined and focused. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, the cliché runs, and I have always found it to be so in the past when husband and wife have been apart. That is a good thing too.